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07/06/2006 this is a day which the lord has made.....Rejoice and be glad in it.
I have been busy this morning and I just got around to noticing that I am hungry and unfortunately the cafeteria has closed for the next hour while they prepare for the lunch crowd. UUUUUUUGGGGGGhhhhh. I want food now. I missed breakfast. I don’t usually skip breakfast it is the most important meal of the day. But I stayed overnight with a coworker so that I could save money on the commute and I planed to get me a bowl of oatmeal from the cafeteria when I got in but work overwhelmed me and now I missed my oatmeal. I guess I will snack on my sesame seeds and soy nuts till lunch. But that means I will be eating unhealthy things for lunch. I don’t usually take lunch that is what the sesame seeds and soy nuts are for. Oh well my day is not starting well and tomorrow doesnt look promising either.
But I have my health, I am fitting into clothes that I havent fit into for over three years. (yes I still have them, I am an optomistic packrat) I take the stairs now instead of the elevator. I am doing situps and leg raises and toe touches and all those silly exercises that we where taught in high school gym class. This time I am going to do it. I am going to get buff and work out till I look good in a speedo.
Ok.... I am not actually going to wear a speedo. I just wanted to create a shocking mental picture. What is up with that, no one looks good in a speedo especially not in a public pool or at the beach. The only people that don't look silly in them are the olympic athletes during the diving and swim competitions. And that is not saying much. I want to be buff and havebig biceps and a big manly chest. I have joined a Yahoo group called christian mens fitness so that I can get some advice and encouragement. I am planing to join the YMCA as soon as my finances straighten out July most likely. I am highly motivated to get in shpe both physically and mentally. You see over the past year my family has had some turmoil and I have been examining why I am overweight I have gotten to the deep personal issues that suround my weight and my need to keep people at bay with a meat sheild. I wont really go into it here because I have a therapist that I pay big bucks to for that. LOL But suffice it to say that I am for the first time in my life really ready to lose the weight and well on my way. I have lost 59 pounds as of today and am standing here at 306 lbs, that is down from 365 for you guys that don't own a claculator. That weight loss is since March 31, 2006. Look at that I have been typing this and gettign inturupted for over an hour and I can go get me some lunch. Maybe I will just have a salad. My sister in law emailed me this. This morning when the Lord opened a window to Heaven, he saw me, and he asked: My child, what is your greatest wish for today? I responded: "Lord please; take care of the person who is reading this message, their family and their special friends.They deserve it and I love them very much" The love of God is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but Not its end.
And now for some controversy This was emailed to me by a friend who knows that I am pro-life. Call me conservative: But I believe that human life begins at the beginning. All forms of abortion are morally reprehensible. This too is self evident - purely from a legal standpoint: Where legal doubt exists - the BENEFIT OF THAT DOUBT is to be extended to anyone affected by the decision at hand being scrutinized by the lawful doubt. I.E. A carpet guy lays the carpet. During finishing, he notices a lump in a spot - at the same time someone observes that the family's pet bird is missing. Q: Is the carpet guy morally justified to use his wooden hammer & pound the lump flat because he doesn't know for sure IF the lump is a bird; -- OR is the moral thing to do - to extend the benefit of that doubt to the lump until it can be conclusively proven that it is N0T the pet bird. I think the answer is self evident. If the lump MIGHT be a live bird, then the CONVENIENCE of having a flat carpet is placed on hold until certainty can be determined. Likewise, if life MIGHT begin at conception, - the LAWFUL POSTURING is to assume unalienable rights to that potential life until it can be proven otherwise! The current legal climate ignores that moral legal principle in the name of being able to "pound the private property of the carpet flat" in the name of convenience. Very interesting indeed. now dont leave an angry comment because just as I am not going to convince you, you are not going to convince me. As always these are just my random thought (very random today, must be low blood sugar) and worth what you paid for them. 30/05/2006 Being a good parentNathen Tabor is a politically active young man in a small town near where I live. He is also a blogger with his own conservative political web site. He recently wrote a peice about myspace.com. In the peice he tells his readers stuff we as blogers all know that Children have no business with personal websites unless they are monitored by thier parents. Children like adults sometimes reveal more than they mean to when they type to thier audiance in blogs and we as parents need to be aware of that fact. I have always considered myself to be the typical overprotective parent. My children used to have a computor with internet access in thier bedroom until lightening ran in on it and fried the motherboard. Finances have been bad in the months that followed this act of God and they are still currently without a computor. The off shoot of this is that they are now using my computor and I can monitor more closely where they go and what they do. I know how to look up thier history and also who to go back and see what the logs tell me about what has been erased. And I am glad to say that my children have not given me any reason to doubt thier ability to stay away form the bad parts of the interent. My eldest has discovered the hard way that I monitor what she says in the various forums she visits. I monitor her passwords through a typing retrival program that many hackers use to find out your account numbers.
 See I am what you would call an extreamly well informed internet parent. And my kids are good kids. However I belong to several Yahoo groups some of them, although not about porn, are for adults only because we discuss things that kids should not view without parental involvement. Mens issues, Parenting issues, and several mental health sites with such issues being discussed as child abuse or spousal abuse as well as substance abuse.
The other day I was checking my email when I noticed an email to one of the groups dealing with mens issues. A boy of 14 wanted someone to come to his house to fool around. He gave his phone # and address and told the group that his mom was not home. I imediately made an appeal for the moderator to intervene but nothing came of it I then informed the boy "James" that what he had done was extreamly inappropriate not only becasue this was a mens issues group and not a sex group. But that child preditors may be in any group and see this information and he just potentially gave out his address and phone # to a serial killer stalking his next kill, while at the same time informing his killer that he was at home alone.
Now I know this is not rocket sience and that more than likely James was an internet sting cop looking for his next perp. But the fear I have is that James was real and that he was oblivious to the dangers of child preditors.
Now this brings me back to an issue that I have often felt was the number one thing wrong with our society today. We dont know what our kids are doing and for the most part we as parents don't care, as long as they are not gettign into trouble that we know about, then what is the harm and why do I have to be up all in thier business. Now I dont mean you personally I know you personally do know what your kids watch on TV and you do know what your kids do on the internet, but dont you know someone who lets their 12 year old run around with her other 13 year old friends at the mall. Whats up with that. What business does a young teenager have at the mall with out adult supervision. Now I dont mean someone who works at the mall at the age of 15, that person has a legitimate reason to be there and he is not ususally without supervision unless the retail owner is an idiot.
I am talking about that group of tweeners that just passed you the other day giggling their heads off running and being silly at the mall. What is the parent thinking. What about that 13 year old with the personal blog on myspace that her parents dont know about. Who is to blame for that. Well she can get to myspace at the public library she can sometimes get to it from her unmonitored bedroom, she can sometimes get to it from her friends unmonitored bedroom. And if she has a cell phone (why) she can text her blog from there too.
See what I mean we dont watch our kids near enough they take too much time to monitor properly.
I know what you are going to say, when I was a kid we had freedom to be ourselves and to run and play throughout our entire neighborhood and nothing bad ever happened to me. But the difference is that we are a more globally aware world now and with the advent of so much technology that we did not even have an inkling about in the 70's and early 80's has changed the world it is a much scarier place for your kids now.
I am thinking that when my finances improve the internet may not make it back in to my kids room maybe in the living room where every one can see them.
Any way these are just my randome thoughts and worth what you paid for them. 25/05/2006 Job that is too good to be true.I am a Case Manager for a moderately sized hospital in a large metropolotin area. I make a decent salary Suffice it to say I am a little over half way to 6 figures. Not much over but a little. I tell you this because it is gauche to discuss money but before I tell you about this job I heard about I must tell you a little about what it may mean to me.
There is a job I have heard about through a former co-worker I ran into at Wal-Mart. The job is in a city that is almost 3 hours from my current job but is only 1.5 to 2 hours from my home. (I may have mentioned once or twice I have an hour and 15 minute commute.) The job starts off in Raliegh NC you have to commute for a year then you get to work from home. It pays only 50,000 starting off. So if you follow me you realize that would be a small paycut. At the end of the first year you get a promotion which allows you to oporate from your home. The promotion also includes a 10,000 dollar raise (a large raise to me). At the end of the second year you get another promotion with another 10,000 buck increase. A huge increase from what I am making now. At the end of the third year you get the third and final promotion in the line of the job. and with it an increase in salary of $15,000. ok I have said nothing but good things about this job so far. So now for the deal breaker, you are traveling on this job 60-70 % of the time that means that once a week you are flying somewhere 2 and more likely 3 days a week. the company pays for your flights and hotel rooms and you get a corporate credit card. You get a 40 dollar a day perdium for food. While you are traveling. (which you get to keep if you do not use it) and they pay for your membership into airline clubs and car rental clubs so that you get all the extra perks that those organizations offer. You get to keep your hotel frequent guest points for your own personal use. You get to also keep your frequent flyer miles for your own personal use. I would be having to commute on the days that I was not traveling a two hour drive both ways. So on the road 4 hours a day 5 days a week if I am not traveling. The work is grueling you have to bust your butt to get it all done and you have to be detaile oriented. You set your own hours and they dont watch your time so if you spend 60 hours getting the work done that is just your job or if you are very efficent and get it all done in 30 that is cool too. You schedule your own flights and hotel stays through the corporate travel agency. So you pick where you stay and what aireline you fly with.
Ok at this point some of you are saying how do I apply for this job. hehe keeping that to myself till after the job offer then I can recruit you and get a free blackberry and a 400 buck bonus.
So some of you are probably asking yourself what is the problem with the job why does it warrent a blog entry.
Oh you nosy people you.
My wife is against the job. She doesnt want me away from home and I suspect outside her control for so many days a week. I havent even been invited to interview for the job and she is already against it.
Oh well when oportunity calls I have to say sorry I cant follow you because my wife wont let me come out to play.
ok there I have vented now I feel better. Riiiiiiightt
Just my randome life and worth not a red cent because I am broke. 17/05/2006 I love Wally world.I love Wal-mart. Where else can you get the best price on tooth paste and tires in the same day. You know lots of companies promote bad press for Wal-mart as though the naysayers in our media need an excuse to ga after a successful American owned business. But Walmart has eliminated high priced Mom and Pop establishments and they have been replaced with eclectic specialty shops where you can find diversity and local crafty items that normally woudl not have a market. Murphy NC a small town in the same vein as fictitious town of Mayberry from the Andy Griffith show. A small rural community with not a lot of industry and fewer hopes for its youth, A few years back the small walmart moved accross the street building a huge new superstore open 24/7 and imediatly the small mom and pop stores decried their eminant demise. People complained that trhe livelyhood of the town was going to die and blamed Wal-mart for the premature death. Just two short years after this the town had a major revitalization in the downtown which before Wal-mart had come was pretty much dead. Now there is a lots of shops there. One large (large for the 50's) style department store has even been split up into a mini mall This beautiful downtown mall includes several unique specialty shops including a coffee and wine shop, a full service salon, an art gallery and studio, and a local newspaper office. A variety of events, such as live music, wine tasting, and gallery exhibits, take place throughout the year in this mall. next door to this is a womens shop recently opened up that sell handcrafted accessories and locally made dresses. Next door to this is the ald trophy shop where you can get sporting goods and uniforms for various sporting teams. and then on the corner of this block is the old Parkers drugs a soda shope where you can still get your prescriptions filled while you wait on your cherry smash soda and your big burger to come off the grill. Accross the street is the icecream/candy store right next to the old appliance shop. Continuing our tour of Murphy by turning right down the street you will see the local realter where you can find mountain cabins to rent and houses to buy just down from there you will see the red hen Movie theator where you can still see the latest release on friday and saturday nights across from there is the used book seller and the used music store and local consignment antiques shop. An eclectic little shop where you can find freash local grown organic produce and specialty craft items along side neat antiques . on down the street you will see the Napa auto parts store and next door to that is the timberland Furniture store where you can find the most unique designs in furniture I have ever seen. (and I have been to Akia in baltimore.) I took you down this little tour of Murphy to prove a point most of the shops I mentioned owe thier very existance to Wal-mart. Most of them woudl not be there except that people come over the mountain to shop at Wal-Mart and then stay to see what else is for sell in the downtown area. in fact most of the shops mentioned where owned by those same mom and pops who had to close thier general store and open the specialty shop in order to maintain a living now they are eminiately more sucessful. Instead of selling disposable shavers for 4 dollars a unit when Walmart sells it for 2 they are selling antiques, crafrts and hand crafted dresses, new furniture, consignment items, or specialty food items. I am so tired of Wal-mart gettign a bad rap. If you are not making enough money go out and get a better job or if you need better benifits then go out and get a better education so you can get a better compensation package. Wal-mart will pay only as much as the market will bear and if the people want better wages Walmart will pay better wages in order to fill the positions anyway these are just my randome thoughts and worth what you paid for them and would probably be cheaper if you got them at Wal-mart. 16/05/2006 Walmart is going organicWow Organic is so much healther than conventianally grown food. Organic is so much more expensive so I am happy I will be able to buy organic for less now.
Great news for those of us loosing weight and living the organic lifestyle.
I have lost a total of 50 pounds in just over 5 weeks and the only change has been going organic. I still eat as much as I want but I no longer want food as much as I did when I was eating food laced with flavor enhancing apitite stimulating additives.
I cut out the diet drinks and diet food and only drink disilled water now. I eat organic ceral or oatmeal in the morning, I eat more sunflower seeds and soynuts for snack and eat healthier for meals now. I drink tea with real organic raw sugar and only eat organic bread instead of refined flour or refined sugar. No floride in my toothpaste or water now.
10 pounds lost per week. Is the organic foods worth it? Well I had to cut out one of my blood pressure meds because of it. I of course cut out the most expensive one. LOL
Anyway these are just my random thoughts and worth what you paid for them.
Wow I am so down.Warning todays blog is a major downer.
proceed only if you have had an anti depressant.
I am so tired of how busy my life gets sometimes. I hate being poor. I dispise how both those facts make me feel about me. I know that part of my problem is my ADD but I can't keep blaming my problems on that. I mean that gets old too. I have issues with managing my time my money and my resources. I have been thinking God has been punishing me for not reading my bible everyday, and that my financial woes where because of that. But I talked to a friend who is also a preacher. He told me God will not chastize me for not doing something that is a benifit to me God chastizes us daily like we do our own children he Loves us and doesn't punish us for such things as reading our bible becasue he doesnt get any benifit from us reading our bible we are the ones who get the benifit of that. He only chastise us when we are not living as we should. If I am being chastized through my finances it is becuase he wants me to learn something about money. Ok I totally get that but what the heck am I supposed to learn about not having money. I have asked myself that and what have I come up with. Last week and this week I have had to stay in Charlotte sleeping at a coworkers house because I can not afford the gas that it takes to get back and forth from Winston to Charlotte for 3 or 4 days a week a distance of 74 miles each way. Yes I have a 148 mile commute each day. I learned that my Coworkers are kind and offered to help me by giving me a bed to sleep in and thier hospitality when I was in need. So thank you Lord for April and Chris (my coworker and her husband) and thanks you two for opening your home to me.
I don't like being forced to rely on the kindness of others I am the one that is supposed to be the relied upon not the other way around. I am not talking about being too proud to accept help. I am talking about just having the ability to be self sufficient. I sometimes feel like that I cant make it form day to day. Liek this week I ran out of my most expensive blood pressure medication and cant take any because I can not afford the $65.00 co pay till this Friday. I cant even afford the $10.00 copay for my anti depressant medication. So my pressure is up and my mood is down LOL
Why can I not get it together. I am 40 years old and I still have to call my parents to bail me out. I feel like such a failure sometimes.
Any way if anyone comes to see this blog please forgive my lack of humor today it is hard to find sometimes.
Come back next week maybe it will be better.
These are just my randome thoughts and not really worth any more than you paid for them.
04/05/2006 What my birthday means.Wow if you read my previous blog entry you will like me realize that this is my problem, my mother should have held off to have me a day later or rushed me along to have me a day earlier. LOL
***Your Birthdate: January 20***
Your strength: Your warm heart Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions Your power color: Black Your power symbol: Musical note Your power month: February
Coming on too strong.I met this guy and we began to talk about working out and he needed a workout partner and I needed a work out partner and so it seemed like the perfect set up so I thought cool a new freind and we started making plans for me to join the YMCA and working out. I am a fat man I weigh over 300 pounds and need to get into shape. I started talking with him about things I like and telling him some things about me and I guess I got too open for a work out buddy relationship. Some men dont want to know that you have feelings I guess. But anyway long story short he doesnt want to work out with me now. I don't like being rejected. All my life it has been the same story. I am too much for most people to take. All through school when ever I would make a friend it was the same issue. I came on too strong and people would feel uncomfrotable with me. I am frigging 40 years old and I have one good male friend he is like a brother to me. But he is skinny and not interested in working out so I thought I would make a new friend work out and have a new pal. Why is it that men can't be friends like women. I have always been friends with women they have more interesting conversations. Men only talk about superficial stuff like sports (which I detest) or outdoor activities. I am a computor geek and that is what I love to do play with my computor or work on a project. I like to build computors and it thrills me to no end to have a computor crash and have to figure out how the heck to fix it. I am like a dog with a bone when it comes to that.
Obsessed is what my wife says. Most men are not into computors. At least I dont know a lot of them. My wife is a wonderful woman and she is able to take most of what I have to give so we fit together nicely she is too much as well so she can take my emotions and give back as good as she gets.We are both very passionate people. When we are excited by a cause then heven help you if you dont share our enthusiasm. Most men dont like to see guys be excited about something they think men should be stoic and sudate. I am not talking about crying or anything girly like that i am talking about haveing genuine talks about how something makes you feel. Women are all about the feelings and men are all about the physical aspect of things.
Genesis 1:27: God created man in his own image. In God's image he created him; male and female he created them. It is so true that God created men and women differently and it is not just a physical difference. In Gods image he created him male and female he created them. so the difference is not just physical it is a fundimental difference down in their very souls.
This is why men who have not recieved their fathers blessings and affirmations have so many problems and it is why that women who are not told they are beautiful by thier fathers have so many problems. Mothers seem to get a free ride here I think. So happy early Mothers Day.
Any way these are just my very random thoughts today and worth what you paid for them.
24/04/2006 Random Acts of Kindness.I am a person who believes in doing random acts of kindness to try to make the world a better place. I don't mean that I donate large sums of money or large amounts of time but I generally try to be nice and caring and help when I can with out expectation of reciprocity. I always complement someone on their new hairstyle or give people complements whenever I can. If I see someone with out a smile then I give them mine. When I encounter someone with a need generally try to offer what to share I have with them. I do this because I think sometimes a kind word is all it might take to make someone have a good day. I just had the evidence of that come to me in such a nice way. I have been loosing weight lately. I have made a concerted effort to loose the weight after my Doctor told me to loose 24 pounds by June. He told me to do this when I had my appointment on March 31, 2006: so basically less than a month, more like three weeks ago. Well after that time I have made a concerted effort to not over eat and also to eat healthier. I weighed myself this weekend and I have lost 26 pounds. But I will be honest I weight over 300 pounds on a 6'2" frame so even though i have lost 26 pounds it is still not enough that I thought anyone would notice. I have been feeling a little down about how daunting the thought of loosing the weight that i need to loose is going to be. I figure I need to loose about 130 more pounds just to be what the weight charts would say was a healthy weight. Well today a guy in my office a young Hispanic man who comes around emptying the trash and whom I always exchange a greeting with a smile and a how are you doing today, we have never had any meaningful conversation. I don't even know his name. He looks at me and says out of the blue "You have lost weight?" I told him "yes, I have been trying to lately" and I know I was embarrassed to be feeling giddy that a stranger had noticed that I had lost weight. It really did make my day. So with renewed vigor I am going to strive to practice random acts of kindness. I urge all who read this to do the same.
As always these are just my random thoughts and worth what you paid for them. 18/04/2006 Golly What a week.I have been so busy I have not been able to keep up with the blogging. We went to see Ice Age at the 2 dollar theater in town for Easter and it was a good family time the Girls loved it. I thank God for the 2 dollar picture show because I would never see stuff on the big screen if not for that place. My Best friend Mr. B lost his Grandmother this weekend and he has never been close with that side of the family except his grandmother. So I was at a loss as to what to say to him. I always seem to be that way when some one dies, but felt doubly so because of his family circumstances. Anyway I am supposed to be working so I better get back to it. 10/04/2006 I think it is Monday?I am so tired! I have spent the weekend working outside. I have come to the conclusion; I am outta shape!
That may be about to change.
My wife has decided we are going to start eating organic and drinking spring water. She has been reading the book by Kevin Trudeau, Natural Cures "They" Don't Want You To Know About. I think my life is about to change in a dramatic way. Pray for me. 06/04/2006 Being Medicated is very different.On Friday of last week I went to the Dr. and got back on Ritalin for my ADHD.
I am so quite now that my coworkers thing something is teribly wrong.
I notice I am not eating near as much as I used to which will be great for my weight.
I also notice I sit still a lot more now. Which is not good for my butt. I have to sit at a computor for over 12 hours a day and sitting in one spot not moving as much I was accustomed to has made my backside sore. LOL
Oh well no pain no gain. LOL
I have been listening to a lot of books on CD's lately and some sermons on CD's as well. A friend gave me one about the Mark of the Beast by Arnold Murry. It was quite interesting. I had never heard the doctrine of the surpent's seed before. it was an unusual take on the whole Genesis story.
Anyway it is a busy Day at work, and these are just my random thoughts and worth what you paid for them.
04/04/2006 John Eldredge's book Wild at HeartI have a long commute to work so I sometimes listen to books on CD. My eldest sister (the one without the web blog) recently gave me a book on CD John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart. This book is awsome. Every man needs to hear this message. It is a book about what God wants us to be. He calls us to be strong bold warriors but our society and even our church wants us to be meek and mild. I think this guy touches on such truth that it was profound.
Honestly this is my random thoughts and worth what you paid for it. But check it out you wont be sorry. 03/04/2006 It is MondayI have had the Day off but as a parent you never have a day off. I started the day with a thunderstorm at 4 am then I could not get back to sleep so I got up and read the bible. At 6:30 the wife and kids got up and I took the kids to school. On the way to school my quite and happy one the middle child I will call H for happy tells me she thinks she is going to upchuck. So I say fine just stay in the car and I will take you home. I drop off the other 2 and head for the house. I give her something for her stomach and she lies down. I begin the chore of masking off her windows because my wife wants to paint their room this weekend and of course half way through this tedious chore the phone rings. My eldest and most dramatic Daughter the drama Queen call me so Q says to me I need you to come get me because I have hurt my back (she has been recovering from a mild back injury and is out of the medicine the doctor gave her for it) so I am thinking ok she just wants to come home since the other child is home and she is afraid we are doing fun stuff with out her. So long story short; on my day off I have two kids and chores to do around the house. On top of it all the rain was intermittent all day so it would be sunny one minute and rainy the next. I am almost looking forward to work tomorrow. 01/04/2006 It is SaturdayI live in North Carolina in the USA and it is 80 degrees out there today. I am about to go out and start my garden today and i just had to come share with you this thought. if it is good weatherwhere you are get up shut the computor down and get out there and enjoy it because spring has Sprung.
These are just my random thoughts and worth what you paid for them. |
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